A nation of complainers: Beha'alotecha 5784

A terrible personality trait is that which is possessed by the complainer. It is hard to live with complainers at home, in the workplace, and in the community. In this week’s parsha we are made aware of the dismal consequences of complaining. Rashi points out that the complainers in the desert had no real basis for their complaints. They were just generally dissatisfied, so they complained against Moshe and eventually against God.

 Moshe, in his final oration to the Jewish people in the book of Devarim, will himself complain that the people of Israel are unnecessarily quarrelsome, a bunch of complainers. There is a Jewish joke, more ironic than funny, about three Jewish matrons eating lunch at a restaurant in New York: the waiter approaches them in the middle of their meal and asks them “Is anything alright?” 

Rashi’s interpretation of the lack of justification for complaints in the desert portrays a serious character defect within the Jewish people. They are chronic complainers but, for the vast majority of the time, their grumbles are baseless. The many complaints in the desert follow the usual pattern: food, Moshe’s leadership, the unfairness of life and how hard it is to live up to the role of being the chosen people. 

All through First Temple times we find that the prophets of Israel were barraged with moans about their mission and words. Though their prophecies actually provided the solution to Israel’s troubles, the people asserted that it was they who were the problem. Their unjustified criticisms brought destruction and exile in their wake. 

I am not a mental health professional by any stretch of imagination. Yet my instinct tells me that chronic complainers are not happy with themselves and that they project that dissatisfaction outwards on events and on people who are not the cause of their original dissatisfaction. 

There is something deep within us that requires self-justification and self-empowerment.  When that need is fulfilled, we are happy, and optimistic. When that ingredient in our psyche is absent, we carp, we become sad and sometimes destructive. We recite daily in our morning prayers how fortunate we are to be the special people that God has chosen to lead the world in service to Him. We may all recite that prayer—but how many of us are really convinced in our heart of hearts of its truth? 

The rabbis of the Talmud harshly disdained the chronic complainer: “Is it not sufficient for you that you are alive?” Nothing is perfect in life, but that is no justification for complaining. We are bidden to deal with problems to the extent that we can—not to dwell on them and let them fester within our heart. We have to seek an inner peace that will allow us an optimistic attitude and an avoidance of complaints. Our parents, schools and society should somehow concentrate on achieving this goal with our coming generations.

 Shabbat shalom, Rabbi Berel Wein