Shame, self-respect and self-control: Naso 5785

The words of the rabbis that “One who sees the shame of the woman who was unfaithful should immediately abstain from consuming wine” are well known and oft-repeated. Their meaning is obvious: in life everyone must drive defensively. Let no one allow oneself to be found in compromising circumstances and to imagine that one is somehow immune from its consequences. 

In the world today there are numerous sad examples of people in high office and of great achievement who have been humiliated and brought to grief by the revelations of their indiscretions. The rabbis in Avot stated that there is “an eye that sees us”—a constantly recording surveillance camera, if you will, that captures our movements and behavior. The public revelation of another’s sin should serve as a reminder to all the consequences of that sin. The Torah that ordinarily is very protective of one’s right to privacy, even the rights of a sinner, chose to publicize the fate of the unfaithful woman in order to impress upon others the need for care and probity in all matters of life. One should never say: ‘This can never happen to me.’ When it comes to human desires there are no automatic safeguards. Rather, only care, vigilance, and the avoidance of risk and compromising situations are the tools at hand for preventing disgrace.

The rabbis make a clear connection between witnessing sin and imbibing too much wine. Just as driving an automobile under the influence of alcohol and drugs is forbidden by law, life itself should generally be lived free of influences of that nature. Addiction to alcohol has been a rare occurrence in Jewish society over the ages. However, acculturation and assimilation over the past century have made alcohol a problem in Jewish circles today. The idea of abstinence from wine as described in the parsha regarding the regimen of the nazir is meant to be taken as a message of moderation and good sense. Like many other things in life, a little alcohol can be pleasurable and beneficial—but in large quantities it can be harmful and even lethal. The Torah holds up the faithless woman and the nazir as examples of the dangers that lurk in everyday life. It is essentially foolish for any human being to ignore these omnipresent temptations and dangers. 

Again, we read in Avot that one should not trust oneself until the final moment of life. An abundance of over-confidence in one’s ability to withstand temptations will always lead to unforeseen problems and sad consequences. All human experience testifies to this conclusion. Much of the modern world, Jewish and non-Jewish alike, mocks and derides any type of defensive driving in personal life matters. The concept of personal freedom has morphed into a lifestyle where any restraints on behavior, reasonable as they may be, are attacked and ridiculed. Fashions and mores may change with the times but human behavior does not, and the moral restraints the Torah imposes on us remain eternally valid and cogent. 

Shabbat shalom, Rabbi Berel Wein

You can read "Gregarious monasticism", Rabbi Wein's devar Torah on this parashah for last year, here.