Family, foes and painful choices: Toledot 5785

The troubling question on this week’s parsha that has persisted throughout the ages of biblical commentary is: Whatever is Yitzchak thinking when he plans to give the blessings and heritage of Avraham to Eisav? Basically, explanations fall into two categories. One view is that Yitzchak, fooled by Eisav, is quite unaware of his true nature and wanton behavior. Rashi, quoting Midrash, interprets that Eisav “hunted“ his father with his pious speech and cunning conversation. Yitzchak is taken in and believes that Eisav, a man of the world and a physically powerful figure, is better suited to carry on Avraham’s vision than is Yaakov, the more studious and apparently less sophisticated of the pair. 

The other opinion, more popular among the later commentators to the Torah, is that Yitzchak is aware of the shortcomings of behavior and attitude of his elder son. His desire to give the blessings to Eisav is due to his wish to redeem and save him, to enable Eisav to turn his life around and become a worthy heir to the traditions of his father and grandfather. Yitzchak thinks that even if he gives the blessings to Eisav, Yaakov will not really suffer any disadvantage in his life’s work, while Eisav will find his way back to holiness through the blessings that he will have received. 

These two divergent attitudes towards the wayward child in Jewish families are enacted daily in Jewish family life. Later Yitzchaks either wilfully allow themselves to be deluded regarding the behavior and lifestyle of children or, aware of the problem, they attempt to solve it through a combination of generosity and a plethora of blessings. 

Rivkah, the mother of both Eisav and Yaakov, is not fooled by Eisav’s apparently soothing words; nor does she believe that granting him blessings will somehow accomplish any major shift in his chosen lifestyle. To a great measure she adopts a policy of triage, saving Yaakov and blessing him while thus abandoning Eisav to his own preferred wanton ways. 

The Torah does not record for us the “what if” scenario of Eisav receiving the blessings. Would he have been different in behavior and attitude, belief and mission? However, from the words of the later prophets of Israel, especially those of Ovadyah, it appears to be clear that God concurred with Rivkah’s policy, holding Eisav to be redeemable only in the very long run of history and human events. 

The moral of this episode is that one must be clear-eyed and realistic about the painful waywardness and misbehavior of Yaakov’s enemies, be they from within or without our immediate family and milieu. There are many painful choices that need to be made within one’s lifetime and especially in family relations, and few pat answers to varying and difficult situations. Perhaps that is why the Torah does not delve too deeply into the motives of Yitzchak and Rivkah, being content merely to reflect the different emotional relationships each had with their two very different sons. The Torah emphasizes the role that human emotions play in our lives and does not consign all matters to rational thought and decision-making.   

Shabbat shalom, Rabbi Berel Wein       

The Great Make-Over: Noach 5785

The opening parshiyot of the Torah portray a rather dismal picture of the human race and of our world generally.  Everything noble and worthwhile seems to have spun away in a flood of vice, avarice, and murder. And this type of human behavior seems to have filtered down to the other forms of life on the planet as well.

The great flood described in this week’s parsha can therefore be seen, so to speak, as God’s make-over of the Creation. We know the feeling that comes upon us when, after working on a project for a period of time, we become convinced of the project’s failure and of the need to start over again from the beginning, discarding everything in which we had invested our energy.

But, as the parsha indicates, there is little to choose between the living world before the flood and the one that emerged in its wake. So the Lord adopts, as it were, a different tack. This is because, though God is disappointed by human behavior, He never irrevocably despairs of humans, individually or collectively. Now God will wait patiently until humans on their own, through their inner sense, seriously begin to search and find meaning and purpose in life.  This search will inexorably lead to the Creator and a moral code of behavior. Noach, as great a person as he was, was unable to transmit to his descendants the necessary sense of personal morality and that inner drive for self-improvement and righteousness which he himself possessed. Without that inner urge to search for the Creator, no outside revelation or cataclysmic event, no flood or war or Holocaust, can achieve an improved moral climate in human society.

The parsha records God’s commitment not to bring another flood upon humankind. Outside pressures and historic events, no matter how impressive and intense they may be, are not the ways to inspire and improve human behavior. A change of the human heart, a rethinking of life’s meaning and mission, a yearning for spirit and eternity—these are the proven methods for achieving a more just and noble society.

The lesson of this week’s parsha, and indeed the fundamental lesson of the Torah, is that the path to knowledge and service of God runs through one’s own inner feelings, attitudes, ideals and commitments. The task of Jewish parenting and education is to impart this basic truism of life to the next generation. And as the Torah itself testifies, this ability to do so was what set Avraham apart from Noach, and the Jewish people at their very origin from the nations of the world.

Shabat shalom, Rabbi Berel Wein