Doing What Is Right (Chayei Sarah 5787)

 This piece by Rabbi Joel Kenigsberg was first published in Hanassi Highlights on 5 November 2026. To read the Hebrew version created by ChatGPT, click here.

In Parshat Chayei Sarah, the Torah devotes an extraordinary amount of space to the story of Eliezer's search for a wife for Yitzchak. The entire episode is recounted twice: first as it unfolds, and then again as Eliezer relates his experiences to Rivkah's family. Chazal explain: “Yafeh sichatan shel avdei avot miToratan shel banim”—the conversations of the servants of our forefathers are more precious than the Torah teachings of their descendants. Even the seemingly ordinary conversations of Eliezer contain profound lessons.

But why does the Torah need to repeat the story? Surely its message could have been conveyed sufficiently the first time around? The answer lies in several subtle differences between the two accounts. When Avraham instructs Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchak, Eliezer raises a concern: “Ulai lo toveh ha'isha lalechet acharai” – perhaps the woman will not agree to follow me. However, when Eliezer recounts the conversation, the word ulai (perhaps) is written without the letter vav, allowing it to be read as eilai—“to me.” Rashi, quoting Chazal, explains that Eliezer had a daughter of his own, and secretly hoped that she might marry Yitzchak. His question was therefore not entirely innocent.

But if Eliezer had these ulterior motives all along, why does the Torah only reveal them in the second account of the story? Rav Dessler offers a fascinating explanation. Initially, Eliezer himself was unaware of his hidden motives. He genuinely believed that his concerns were entirely justified. Only later, once Rivkah had been found and his daughter's prospects had disappeared, could he recognise that his earlier hesitation had been influenced by personal interests. The eternal message here is how easily we can convince ourselves that our motives are pure, even when our own interests are quietly influencing our judgement.

The Sfat Emet, however, offers a different perspective. He suggests that rather than criticising Eliezer, the Torah is actually praising him. Despite his personal hopes, Eliezer never allowed them to interfere with his mission. He could have undermined the entire endeavour, yet instead devoted himself wholeheartedly to fulfilling Avraham's wishes. Indeed, by revealing his personal interest to Rivkah's family, he was challenging them to do the same: to put aside their own preferences and allow Rivkah to fulfil her destiny.

Eliezer's greatness lay not in the absence of personal desires, but in his ability to rise above them.

We all have personal interests, ambitions and preferences. The real test of character comes when those interests conflict with what we know to be right. True greatness is not always about doing what comes naturally or comfortably. Sometimes it means putting aside what we want in order to do what we know is right.

Shabbat Shalom!

You can read "Rising After the Fall -- Abraham's Model for Resilience", Rabbi Kenigsberg's parashah piece on Chayei Sarah for last year, here.